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... Guinea pigs are another very popular choice for a small pet. A website dedicated to guinea pigs boasts on their front page that there is no question that "guinea pigs make excellent pets [and are] docile, low maintenance, and unbelievably cute. ... Calling a guinea pig "unbelievably cute" is at, very best, a far stretch. ...
To anyone who is considering purchasing a guinea pig and is convinced that no other rodent will do, I would urge them to go to a local lumber yard and get themselves a lovely block of wood instead. I am convinced that after weighing the positives and negatives, an ordinary log would prove to be a far better pet than a guinea pig.
For the sake of specifics, lets assume that the common guinea pig is being compared to a standard block of Northern Red Oak wood, commonly used for firewood.
Consider first that very little is actually known about the history of the guinea pig. ... Quite the contrary in fact, it makes the guinea pig seem dull. A block of wood, on the other hand, has a glorious, rich history. Imagine that your beloved block of wood was once part of a hardy, eighty-foot-tall tree, who had majestically grown from a tiny acorn in the dense forrests of Canada! ... Score one for the block of wood.
If their pathetic past isnt enough to deter a potential owner from getting a guinea pig, next consider the housing requirements of the creature. Unless planning to allow the guinea pig to rome free in the house, a sturdy (and expensive) cage will be necessary. ... Bedding, another requirement for a healthy pet, is also costly and is constantly needed (Guinea pigs soil their litter very quickly and efficently, but well get to that later).
Approximate Word count = 1363
Approximate Pages = 5.5
(250 words per page double spaced)
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