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Strolling around the Bodyfashion Trade Fair in Utrecht the other day, I was struck by something that set me thinking about the way the world is going. I've always been a lover of fine underwear, and I've a long history of traipsing around lingerie shows, ever on the lookout for eye-pleasing designs and the latest in comfortable, easy-to-clean fabrics, with just enough elasticity to support and mould the body in places where it needs a little help. Few people in the Netherlands will have welcomed the arrival of the Maidenform Cross-Your-Heart brassiere more warmly than I did and when the Playtex people started marketing their girdles here I was simply delighted. Now, I thought, even the least naturally gifted woman can look like Lana Turner from the neck down. If only they'd invent plastic surgery, I remember thinking, we can start working on their heads as well. I'm not saying, mind you, that gravity doesn't have its uses. Without it we'd live in a state of weightlessness, forced to nail the furniture to the floor and to drink our Courvoisier VSOP through a straw, to name just two of the more inconvenient aspects. But on the whole, gravity is a pain in the neck: it pulls objects down to earth with a thud, or sometimes a crash, and what it does to all but the youngest, firmest human bodies is, in a word, ghastly.
Approximate Word count = 969
Approximate Pages = 3.9
(250 words per page double spaced)
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