Smoking Satire
...ate because he had to have a smoke. Now you can breathe in the smoke, which is permeated throughout his clothes. As you sit in class the teacher lectures about the latest project due, and you drift in thought. You think that if every three people in a class of twenty-five smoke that amount should be increased to twenty out of twenty-five. Those five people are way to concerned about their health. Everyone is going to die anyway. More information should be given to these non-smokers because smoking gives you something to entertain yourself with as you walk to the local bus stop, or go for your morning jog. There must be ways to advertise to all these low life people. Signs should be placed in strategic places advertising the benefits to smoking. Signs such as: “Real Teenagers Smoke,” and “All the cool kids are smoking – be cool – join us behind the portables between each class.” Students should be given a longer time then six minutes between classes as well. This amount of time is not enough for the students to walk to the portables, light their cigarette, smoke the entire thing (usually sharing it among a few people) and get to class on time. This time length should be extended for the benefit of all the smokers. The price of cigarettes is ridiculous. Students with part time jobs do not have the expandable income to afford cigarettes. Students from the age of thirteen to eighteen should receive free cartons of cigarettes because this will cause them to become fully addicted to cigarettes, and everyone will be able to enjoy the smoky air. Due to the fact that students will receive free cigarettes, the police will not have to charge underage smokers with fines. This law wil...