psychological and social effects of divorce on children
... for productive social interaction. When the family unit is no longer secure and in place this template is lost, and the new paradigm that is created is not one that promotes functionality in interpersonal relationships. In post-divorce situations the separated partners struggle to rebuild their lives, and this often includes attempts at other relationships. Many of these relationships fail, and the children are now witness to another instance of failed adult interactions reinforcing the emerging belief that a functional relationship is not attainable. The statistics are alarming. According to Divorce Magazine, fifty percent of first marriages in 1997 ended in divorce, and in the same year sixty percent of remarriages were dissolved (1). International statistics show that forty-nine percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce (1). It is the children of these ill-fated unions that carry the legacy of divorce into and well beyond their teenage years. The breaking up of a marriage has many effects upon a child. In cases where parents rely heavily upon the children for support it is at the expense of other areas of development and growth. Most notably school attendance and school performance deteriorates. The study by Wallerstein et al notes a fourteen year old boy who, after his mother left the family, took upon himself the responsibilities relinquished by the absent mother, foregoing school and extra curricular activities in order to care for his father who was described as being “in a state of collapse” (7). In this case the fourteen year old is burdened with responsibilities well beyond his years, and an important part of his adolescent development is irretrievably lost. Another incidence of dysfunctional adolescence brought on by divorce is the rebellion aspect. While many children rebel throughout their teenage years, it is found that the percentages among children of divorce are noticeably higher. Over half the teenagers in the Wallerstein study were drinking or taking drugs by the time they were seventeen, compared to forty percent of all teenagers nationwide (88). Many children use drugs and alcohol as an escape from feelings of loneliness, guilt, or abandonment stemming from the after effects of divorce. The sustained use of alcohol and narcotics has other far-reaching effects, usually culminating in criminal activity, and eventually law enforcement and judicial involvement. The Los Angeles Times, September 19th 1988, cited that out of twenty-five thousand juvenile offenders, seventy-two percent came from broken homes (cited in Amneus 179). Many girls from divorced families engage in sexual activity at an early age. Either out of a longing to have the affection that was denied since the marital break up, or as Wallerstein states, “Sex is a way to get even with both parents – to get what their moms couldn’t have (a man), to get what they missed growing up (a man), and to vent their anger and disdain (onto that same man).” (189). Random sexual encounters run the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies that either end in abortion and the psychological after effects, or an increase in the number of single mothers. In some cases, children may blame the parents for the situation they find themselves in, and react with verbal or physical abuse. This was the case of a child referred to as Larry in the Wallerstein study who, after witnessing physical abuse by his father to his mother, adopted his fathers’ violent role after the divorce. Later, Larry confessed that he was “…infuriated with my mother and I wanted my dad to return home” (88). At the end of the spectrum when the enormity of the pressures of divorces become too much, suicide may seem the only solution open to some children. The stress and uncertainty of post-divorce life, can lead to depr...