no when to say yes
...ing and helping me clean up, that I'd ignored the chances to let them grow in creativity and helpfulness. I have a new attitude now: If they want to help me sweep the floor, why not? If they unfold every blanket in the house to build a fort, who cares? That's how kids learn--by doing. If you're like me and find yourself saying no even more than your little one, try one of these fun activities from the Workshop. HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Perfect for the holidays, let these kid-size Play It Smart projects inspire you to extend the play and learning into your own preparations. http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=20360 CRAYON PAINTINGS Use crayons, watercolors, and your child's imagination to paint a masterpiece. http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=7604 LAUNDRY SORTING PARTY Make laundry time learning time. http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=94381 GROCERIES, AWAY! Form a kitchen conga line and make fun of chores. http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=81160 ***IT'S ALL IN THE WAY YOU SAY IT Since Tyce and Rachel's painting project, I'm trying to reflect a more positive attitude--even when I have to say no. For instance, Rachel, who is 22 months, loves candy and begs me to raid the Halloween stash daily. Instead of saying, "Are you crazy? There is no way you're having a Tootsie Roll for breakfast!" I say, "Candy isn't a breakfast food. But you can have a yogurt or cereal if you're hungry." Saying an outright "no" is just begging for one of Rachel's infamous tantrums--but giving her another choice diffuses the situation. The same strategy sometimes works with Tyce. However, he's not as easily distracted as his little sister, so I have to be a bit more sophisticated in my approach. For example, he comes up with every excuse in the book to delay finishing his nightly homework assignments. After he writes a few letters in his workbook, he is suddenly so thirsty, hungry, or tired that he just can't go on. Rather than say, "You are finishing your homework now... or else!" I try, "Yes, you can get a drink after you write that last row of P's", or "Sure, since you're tired, you can put on your pajamas right after Dad checks that finished worksheet." Of course the homework gets done and he usually (miraculously) regains his strength. I'm slowly learning that it's not what I say, but how I say it, that makes all the difference. FIVE DISCIPLINE DILEMMAS Balance "yes" and "no" without getting into a battle of wills. http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=881 SENSE OF SELF: TWO TO FIVE Your toddler's mantra: I say NO; therefore, I am. http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=975 SESAME RESEARCH REPORT: ARE KIDS GROWING UP TOO SOON? Are you ready to say "yes" to your kids growing up? http://www.sesameworkshop.org/gwr?s=nl&t=102744 ***SESAME STREET MUSIC WORKS It may have taken me a while to agree to a messy art project, but I've always been good about letting the kids choose what we listen to in the car. Rachel's current favorite is a Barney CD she knows by heart. After the millionth time, I do too. But it makes our errand running much more pleasant to have her singing happily in the back seat. And repetition is what toddlers crave. So the next time your little one asks for the same tape or CD--again--know that you're saying "yes" to a making your trip a little easier for the both of you. Learn ...