my summer vacation
... instill different feelings in me... but they're not feelings that i can put into words. you know how you just feel something, and you know that you felt it before... but you don't know what the fuck it means, or what it is? i get those all the time... and they either comfort me or scare me. i feel like i have this whole other set of feelings that no one else has because no one has invented words to describe them yet. maybe that's why i can't usually cry in front of people, or when people around me are crying. maybe that has something to do with why i laugh or smile when i hear something that is really supposed to be sad. i don't know. but music is the most constant thing to me, it's what i find comfort in. i constantly have music playing, wherever i am. it really bothers me when there isn't music on; i feel really weird and almost jumpy... i don't know if that's the word for it. being in a car without the radio on, being in jewelry making activity where there's no music on, doing homework in the library on a day that i'm alone and...