I Am Schizophrenia
... dementia praecox, or "dementia of early onset," till a prominent psychiatrist named Eugene Bleuler gave me my current name. Bleuler defined me with his four "A's", referring to the blunted Affect (diminished emotional response to stimuli); loosening of Associations (by which he meant a disordered pattern of thought), Ambivalence (an apparent inability to make decisions) and Autism (a loss of awareness of external events, and a preoccupation with the self and one's own thoughts). Most specialists think that my symptoms are provoked by chemical imbalances in the brain. Some believe I may appear because of genetics, or other biological and psychosocial factor, but no one really knows where I come from. I am schizophrenia. I make people hear voices and have very strange thoughts. With me life seems dark, scary and fragmented. With me one battles strange, ominous voices and sights in a forever-tormented day-to-day nightmare. With me you can't get relief from my psychotic world. Some people want to die desperately in an effort to free themselves from my world. Some people hear my derogatory voice telling them what to do, which can become very dangerous to those suffering and others. They become delusional, paranoid and have disorganized speech. They don't even know what is happening to them. I make them feel possessed, and infect their minds with what they sometimes believe are demonic spirits. With me your experience is a terrifying journey through a world of madness no one can understand, particularly the person traveling through it. It is a journey through a world that is deranged, empty, and devoid of anchors to reality. I make you feel very much alone. You find it easier to withdraw than cope with a reality that is incongruent with your fantasy world. I make you feel tormented by distorted perceptions. I don't allow you to distinguish what is real from what is unreal. Sometimes I mark my hosts with striking motor behaviors and turn them into fixed stuporous state for long periods, called catatonic. I affect all aspects of your life. I am schizophrenia. In the past, the only way people tried to get rid of me was by using cruel tactics, like shock treatments, lobotomy, and worst, institutionalized in horribly abusive asylums. It wasn't until 1952 that the modern era of medical treatment began to use new tranquilizers to get rid me or help wit...