How Men and Women Think Differently
...-knit. The games they play do not involve on winning or losing because girls focus on friendships and intimacy. They place high values on communication and collaboration. When a girl tells another girl what to do she is labeled as “bossy,” and she is not very attractive to others. Girls will not want to play with her, however, when a boy gives orders and takes control he is labeled a leader; the “king of recess.” There is a huge status gap between “bossy” and “king of recess.” Two different mind frames reacting differently on the same situation cause this gap. These mind frames carry on further into life. A perfect illustration of how men and women think differently lies in the interactions between a married couple. Josh, who is married to Linda, doesn’t want to talk about his day when Linda asks him. He tells her it went fine, but she wants to hear more from him. He feels as if he is reporting; reenacting his day. She wants to talk about it though because she’s been taught that talking is important. It’s part of their intimate relationship. That’s why women gossip. Women have friends they talk with, whereas men have friends they do things with. Josh’s reluctance to talk about his day creates a situation that Dr. Gentry calls Rapport vs. Report. Linda, once again, is in search of some sort of intimacy and Josh just doesn’t want to “report” on his day. This problem is a typical illustration of gender thinking differences. Dr. Gentry points out that sociological studies have also proven that what men see as independence, women see as intimacy. For instance, Josh, who is married to Linda, invites Bill to stay with him for the weekend without telling Linda. Later when he mentions it Linda is upset. She’s not upset because she doesn’t like Bill, but rather at the fact that Josh didn’t ask her first. In Linda’s perspective, the act of Josh asking her is symbolic of their togetherness and intimacy. Ever since she was little she has been taught the importance of intimacy. In Josh’s perspective, however, he feels that he should be able to make his own decisions and consulting with Linda first is a threat to his independence. Although they are married, Josh has been socialized to independently make his own decisions. She’s worried about their intimacy and he’s worried about his independence, hence the problem of Intimacy vs. Independence. Later, Linda mentions she is bothered by a small scar on her chest and Josh responds by telling her that she could always get it removed with plastic surgery. Of course she gets mad at him because she wasn’t looking for a solution to her problem; she was looking for comfor...