Dorothy Parker "A Telephone Call"
...sperately to hear from him. She wants to hear from him, but feels he must call her and that she will spoil her chances if she calls him. She further paralyzes herself by rationalizing that it would be all right to call him, thus creating a vicious cycle: It would be so easy to telephone him. Then I’d know. Maybe it wouldn’t be a foolish thing to do. Maybe he wouldn’t mind. Maybe he’d like it. Maybe he has been trying to get me. Sometimes people try and try to get you on the telephone, and they say the number doesn’t answer. So, this paralyzing monologue breaks down her resolve to call the man. Even so, she doesn’t give up, but the reason is not because she is resolute but because she has lost all self-respect. Deluding herself, she says, “The real pride, the big pride, is in having no pride.” However, she doesn’t refer to her own previous admission--possibly until the next round of futility--when she acknowledges that this plan failed her on an earlier occasion when she did call him: “He couldn’t have minded my calling him up. I know you shouldn’t keep telephoning them—I know they don’t like that…” She is powerless because she is trapped between her desperation...