Conversation
... is being less than honest. When consulting with a worker, an uneducated vulgar person is in a difficult position. This person usually doesn't have the ability to coerce people to do what he wants. He has learnt that aggressive and threatening behavior is needed to satisfy needs. Most of us don't do this. We cooperate to get what we want. So listening is critical to being a successful talker. This means active listening, listening for what is being said, and listening for what is not being said. As you have assumptions when conversing, so has the other person. Identifying these assumptions allows new heights of awareness. A new level of discussion is now able to be met. If you realize that you aren't in a the conversation, try repeating the last comment made by the other person. This allows the discussion to develop further. Progress is enhanced by admitting to the other person any assumptions you are making about them. In these situations an understanding between the speakers may occur. This can develop quickly if you are willing to tell the other person something about yourself which might relate to their present situation or their background. Look for something you might have in common, and talk about this. Often this simply involves asking their age, their place of birth, or where they went to school. Whether they are from the country or the city, if they have family, are other things you might ask about. Anything that comes up in the initial phase of the conversation may be used. This allows the conversation to 'dance' in a way which allows freedom of expression and a release of emotion. But producing good understanding can be hard work and emotionally draining, and is thus not always possible. It is also important to be aware of dishonesty in the conversation. When dishonesty is present it is usually felt as much by you, as the person lying. There are different levels of honesty and different 'scenarios' to deal with it. Sometimes there is not a demand for it. Sometimes it is best to simply trust your own feelings during the conversation. Rapport is a very effective tool, but sometimes it is best to contain it and complete the conversation. Some people develop such dependencies, and in effect are prone to living their life as a learnt lie. The desire to promote meaningful growth in a conversation is sometimes not important to the person you are speaking to. Newc...