Cohabitation
...e other person to clean, pay bills, be responsible and faithful just to name a few. Myths There are a number of reasons people have given for living together. Several of the most common myths are as follows: ü “Everybody’s Doing it!” ü “Economically It’s Worth It to Live Together.” ü “Living Together Before Marriage Increases Your Chances of Having a Happy Marriage later.” ü “Doing It Won’t Hurt Anyone.” ü “It's Nobody's Business." ü “It's All-Right Because We're Really In Love!" ü “But We're Going To Be Married Anyway." ü “The Bible Doesn't Teach That a Civil or Religious Ceremony Must Be “Performed For Marriage to Be Valid In God's Eye, So Why Have One?" ü "It'll Enhance My Self-Esteem and Inner Security." ü “The Bible is Silent on the Subject." ü “The Marriage License Is Only a Piece of Paper, and it Doesn't Automatically Make Two People Committed to Each Other." My responses to these myths are as follows: Statistics estimate that 65 to 80 percent are sexually active and 30 to 40 percent of college age people cohabit, but this also shows that between 20 and 35 percent are not sexually active and somewhere between 60 to 70 percent of the students do not cohabit. So, “everybody isn’t doing it”. Yes, it is cheaper for two to live together but what is the price a person is willing to compromise his/her moral standards? Economic reasons should never determine what is morally right or wrong. The book talks about the “test drive a car’ before you buy it myth, but people are not like cars. If you don’t like a car after trying it you can simply give it back, not buy it and simply chose again without repercussion. Well, when people try this with someone they “love” getting a new love or simply saying this is not what I want can be come very hurtful and can cause all type of problems, to you that person or an entire family. It has been said that the only difference between marriage and cohabitation is the marriage license, but I believe there is so much more than just that license. Marriage says that yes, I’ve though about it and I really love and want to spend the rest of y life with you without regret, cohabitation to says, well I think I love you and I think I might want to be with you for a long time but I’m not ready to make the commitment and give up “my life”. Benefits of Cohabitation ü Sex readily available ü Sharing cooking, rent, etc. ü Both partners get to keep their money separate ü Avoid responsibility of partner’s debts ü One can leave if things get rough ü Avoid the pain of a divorce ü More individual free time ü No obligation if partner loosing job and unable to take of themselves (Children) ü No sexual strings attached ü You can love’em and leave’em, “easy come, easy go” ü No legal entanglements Wow! these are very strong “benefits” of cohabitation. But they seem to be very selfish. Why would someone want these benefits knowing their partner might feel like one of the list benefits? Personally the listed benefits above are so impersonal and cold, I wouldn’t want to share my life with anyone who wants an easy way out or sees me as conviency. Disadvantages 1) Most cohabitations are short lived, lasting around a year or so and either form into marriages or dissolve. 2) These unions end at a much higher rate than marriages. 3) Cohabitates have no responsibility for financial support of their partner or their children. 4) They are moiré likely than married couples to engage in separate leisure activities and keeping their social lives independent. 5) Most cohabitates expect their relationship to be sexually exclusive, but in fact they are less likely to be monogamous than married couples. 6) Women still do more of the cooking, cleaning, sacrificing and other traditional household tasks “assigned” to women. 7) Researchers have found lower levels of happiness, satisfaction and report more problems such as alcoholism than to married couples. Knowing this information why would someone want to take the chance on cohabitating, the odds are against you from the beginning. Now that I have introduced what cohabitation is, why people cohabitate, the benefits and disadvantages, I will show some facts and statistical information that I found to support the above information. Facts According to a Census report listed are the top 10 states with the highest and lowest percentages of unmarried cohabitating partners: States with Highest Percentages of Unmarried Cohabiting Partners (including same sex and different sex): 1. Alaska - highest percentage of unmarried couples living together 2. Vermont 3. Nevada 4. Maine 5. New Hampshire 6. California 7. Washington, D.C. 8. Washington 9. Oregon 10. New Mexico States with Lowest Percentages of Unmarried Cohabiting Partners (including same sex and different sex): 1 Alabama - lowest percentage of unmarrieds 2 Arkansas 3 Utah 4 North Dakota 5 Oklahoma 6 Tennessee 7 Mississippi 8 West Virginia 9 Kentucky States with Laws (rarely enforced) Making Unmarried Cohabitation Illegal: Arizona Florida Idaho Michigan Mississippi New Mexico North Carolina Virginia States' with Laws Against Fornication (making cohabitation illegal): Georgia, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Utah. Fact on Cohabitation In 1960, there were 90 married couples for every cohabiting couple. Currently there is one cohabiting couple for every 12 married couples. By the year 2010, if the present trend continues, there will be 7 married couples for every cohabiting couple. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, unmarried couples account for 5.5 million households in the U.S., 11.5 times the number in 1960. Today in the U.S., 1 in 3 single women choose to live with their partners before marriage, compared to 1 in 10 in the 1950's (Whitman 1997). Today in England, 70% of single women choose to live with their partners before marriage, compared to just 5% in the mid-1960s.(Ciavola 1997). Today in Sweden there are a little over two married couples for every cohabiting couple. Today, 50% to 80% of couple...