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The Boyfriend (Part 1) episode 034 - The Boyfriend (part I) Transcribed by The News Guy(Mike) Jerry - Jerry Seinfeld Kramer - Michael Richards George - Jason Alexander Elaine - Julia Louis-Dryfus Keith Hernandez - Himself Rae Allen - Mrs. Lenore Sokol Richard Assad - Cabby Wayne Knight - Newman Written by: Larry David and Larry Levin Directed by: Tom Cherones [Gym Locker Room] ...(missing a few seconds) KRAMER: You're a chucker. GEORGE: All these years I've been chuckin' and you've never told me? JERRY: Well it's not an easy thing to bring up. KRAMER: Hey you know this is the first time we've ever seen each other naked. JERRY: Believe me I didn't see anything. KRAMER: Oh, you didn't sneak a peak? JERRY: No, did you? KRAMER: Yeah, I snuck a peak. JERRY: Why? KRAMER: Why not? hey what about you George? GEORGE: yeah, I ... I snuck a peak. ... But it was so fast I didn't see anything. It was just a blur. JERRY: I made a conscious effort not to look. There's certain information I just don't want to have. KRAMER: Uh, I gotta go meet Newman. All right. I'll see you later. JERRY: All right KRAMER: Have a good one. JERRY: All right GEORGE: See ya. [Kramer exits] GEORGE: look at this guy. Does he have to stretch in here? JERRY: You know who that is? That's GEORGE: Keith Hernandez? The baseball player? JERRY: Yeah, that's him. GEORGE: Are you sure? JERRY: Positive. GEORGE: Wow, Keith Hernandez. He's such a great player. JERRY: Yeah, he's a real smart guy too. He's a Civil War buff. GEORGE: I'd love to be a Civil War buff. ... What do you have to do to be a buff JERRY: So Biff wants to be a buff? ... Well sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start. GEORGE: ho ho ho ho. You know I only got two weeks left of unemployment. I got to prove I've been looking for a job to get an extension JERRY: Hey, should we say something to him? GEORGE: Oh, yeah I'm sure he loves to hear from fans in the locker room. JERRY: well he could say hello to me. I wouldn't mind. GEORGE: He's Keith Hernandez. You're Jerry Seinfeld. JERRY: So? GEORGE: What are you comparing yourself to Keith Hernandez. The guys a baseball player Jerry, Baseball! JERRY: I know what he is. I recognized him. You didn't even notice him. GEORGE: What, ... you are making some wisecracks in a night club... wo wo wo. The guy was in game SIX two runs down two outs facing elimination. KEITH: Excuse me. I don't want to disturb you, I'm Keith Hernandez and I just want to tell you what a big fan I am. I love your comedy. JERRY: Really? KEITH: I've always wanted to do what you do. JERRY: What I do? You are one of my favorite ball players of all time GEORGE: Mine too. KEITH: I love that bit about Jimmy Olson JERRY: Thank you. GEORGE: You know Keith, what I've always wondered, with all these ball clubs flying around all season don't you think there would be a plane crash? ... KEITH: (to Jerry) Do you perform anywhere in new York right now? JERRY: I'm performing in this club on the east Side. You should come in. GEORGE: But if you think about it...26 teams, 162 games a season, you'd think eventually an entire team would get wiped out. KEITH: You know, I live on the East Side. JERRY: I'll tell you what, I'll give you my number and uh, just give me a call, tell me whenever you want to go. KEITH: or maybe just to get together for a cup of coffee JERRY: Oh. that would be great. GEORGE: Uh, it's only a matter of time. KEITH: Who's this chucker? --- [Monks] JERRY: It's been three days and he hasn't called. ELAINE: Well maybe you should call him. JERRY: I can't ... I can't ELAINE: Why not? JERRY: I don't know. I just feel he should call me. ELAINE: What's the difference? JERRY: You don't understand, Elaine. I don't want to be overanxious. If he wants to see me he has my number, he should call. ELAINE: Yech, look at this ashtray. I hate cigarettes. JERRY: I can't stand these guys. You give your number to them and then they don't call. Why do they do that? ELAINE: I'm sorry honey. JERRY: I mean, I thought he liked me. I really thought he liked me. we were getting along. He came over to me I didn't go over to him. ELAINE: No, JERRY: Why did he come over to me if he didn't want to see me? ELAINE: I know. JERRY: What did he come over to me if he didn't want to see me? I mean here I meet this guy this great guy, a baseball player, best guy I ever met in my life. .. Well that's it. I'm never giving my number out to another guy again. ELAINE: Sometimes I've given my number out to guys and it takes them a month to call. JERRY: Hu, good, good,... well if he's calling in a month he's got a prayer!
Approximate Word count = 3494
Approximate Pages = 14
(250 words per page double spaced)
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